Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Spot light ....action!


When I pulled the spotlight on me

first it felt too bright
and then I saw things i've ignored
thinking they could be hidden in dark

the blackened corner of my heart
charred by pain

the smokey part of ribs
reeking of effort it has made over years

the blurry part of vision
some from fatigue, some from ego

the cobwebs in mind
marred with broken dreams
lethargic with woven thoughts

and I saw a soul
and a spirit
...that didn't show any sign of age

the rhythm of the heart could slow down
with the beating pace of time
but some things inside us don't get run down

they stay as is if we continue to be curious
they be …
if we can engage in a sense of wonder
about a thing called life.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Somedays...



Somedays
days are hard to tell from each other
they blend
they bleed
and they look the same

Somedays
memory is a burden
that shadows the present
with what once was
and the present dissolves away like a bubble

Somedays
sun and moon
and music and time
can't change the pace of life
it doesn't move and it doesn't stop

Somedays...
heart is too empty
mind is too full
space is too silent
thoughts are too noisy
no rush
and yet no rest

...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I found perfect stillness in movement!




As the pacific ocean crashed onto ocean beach and as I stood barefoot in that cold salty water, I saw layers of water drip back from sand to ocean and it was perfection.

A sheet, thin as satin, smooth and shiny - sheet of water lingers after a wave has folded back into ocean. And it glides on sand like a snake but quieter and slithers back into ocean folding into the vastness with a quiet, deliberate effort. The visual almost made me cry.

And to walk on that freshly bathed sand felt like walking on foam.

And to be on a never ending beach with near perfect temperature felt like I was in this world and I was all there is.

And to find beautiful shells with fossils of flowers and twigs felt like connecting with another world.

And to find myself there on the “national day of relaxation” - serendipity . Sometimes things happen and if you let them, they transform forced days, unplanned time into treasured memory. And I am thankful.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Running Nowhere...



Tread mill reminds me of a bad day, a bad week in life with all the running and getting nowhere. No joy in knocking in a perfectly good exercise equipment but it does feel sad to see rows of people running on it.

The dashboard does talk about calories burnt and miles traveled but at the end of it you are standing exactly where you started. It is like that day when you run and run and run and nothing happens. You are wiped out and yet you didn't move at all. It almost seems like a perfect illusion.

And we all have those days. Constant running to nowhere. Constant effort with no output of value.

The other part of me thinks, tread mill might have some value – strength and stamina building.

I guess, those days of 'nothing' do play a role as well. They build strength too. And they provide the low that makes the high so sweet. They burn too and builds your endurance of burn.

All of those days of getting nowhere gets you to run a perfect marathon one day!

Monday, August 1, 2011

The last frontier



Alaska. The first image that it conjures is that of a cold place, eskimos and mountains of ice. A frozen place.

And it is all true.

But, for 3 months in a year, the Alaskan summer transforms itself into a heavenly place. I travelled Alaska this summer for 9 days. Denali and Kenai were on the agenda.

But, let's start from the beginning. There is one train every day to and from Denali. So, to take the train meant 6 hour wait at Anchorage airport and it was well worth it. The airport noises are very peculiar. The constant 30 minute reminder of the time, the constant 20 minute reminder of the baggage and security, an hourly airport staff guy make the awkward sleeping in the chair effort more annoying.

The airport however is very well equipped with morning related stuff. Pastries, coffee and clean restrooms.

The train, gold star-glass dome, is a beautiful mode of transportation. It comes with a separate car for dining, an open carriage for viewing and a full bar! Glass dome of course affords you full weather effects (rain drops on roof sliding down panes) and 360 degree views. An amazing ride to erase all memories of the airport benches. You are thrown into nature's workshop right away. We saw some moose, rivers, rain, mountains, lush valleys on both sides. It is as if you're riding right into a painting. I felt like the train was headed into Hogwarts. But, it ended up in a huge national park.

Denali, our destination, is known for three things. Mount McKinley, bears and valleys. I saw 1 of 3 things. Valleys! McKinley (called Denali in native language) is an elusive mountain. People spend days to wait for clouds to clear, rain to stop and view the glorious peak of McKinley. People joke that the mountain is so elusive that you'd think it is not even there. But, rest assured, it is. People have seen it, photographed it and have been amazed by its grandeur. As it stands as one mountain range, seeing it across from valley...from bottom to top must be a magical sight. But, as the other 300 days, the day I was the there, the giant was covered in clouds. Luckily though, it didn't rain and a hike at mile 14 (Savage river) gave me opportunity to see Denali valleys. Beautiful lush valley floor, lazy rivers and amazing sounds and sights create near perfect landscape. No bears though!

The most amazing thing about Denali was the endless 24 hour days. Sun never came over head and there was always twilight. There was always enough light for anyone to not need flash-light to walk on road at 2 or 3 am in the morning. As a concept, it is cool but it is very weird to not experience night and see stars.

The next stop was Seward (Soo-ard) and the drive from Anchorage to Seward is like you read in fiction. Iconic lake and mountains with snow, crisp and bright blue skies and flowers of all possible colors. Seward is the place to be if you want to see the mighty fjords. A small town that you can learn in a day, runs on tourism and fishing. The fertile resurrection bay flanks the town and protects it from choppy ocean.

Seward was absolutely terrific.

The kayaking in the sea was a great experience. To sit on a tiny boat in the middle of bay and to see the forests, mountains with ice and end of land was just outstanding, a totally different perspective than being on land. The ghost forests from earthquake and tsunami, bald eagle fights, sea otter, lunch in kayak made my day.

Next was a hike to a glacier and an icefield. “Exit” glacier is the only glacier in Kenai which is accessible by road/trail. You can literally touch the glacier. As you walk towards it, the tiny glacier turns into mammoth blue rock and radiates cold as you get near it. It is very humbling to stand it front of tons of ice. The harding icefield that feeds the glacier is reachable if you are up for 14 miles (round-trip) of grueling hiking. 1000 ft with every mile is a steep hike. I managed to hike far enough to get the first glimpse of the icefield. It is like looking at surface of another planet with nothing but ice as far as you can see. The surprise was a valley of flower that shows up on the top. With beautiful summer flowers and views it looks like valley of Gods.

The last day was reserved for a relaxing boat cruise. But, alaska is = adventure. The sea, as we crossed the last frontier, was so rough that at some point half the boat (40 people) were sick and in blankets with pills. The other half were suffering and pretending to enjoy the roller coaster of 5-6 ft waves. However, the rough ride had its rewards. The captain tracked and found almost all marine life that is found in bay. Otters and sea lion colony, puffins, hump-back whales, orcas, starfish, porpoise (8-9 playing around the boat)...it was just a fabulous to see animals in their playground. Alaskan waters are very fertile in summer and attract unbelievable amount of marine life that feeds and reproduces in those waters. And the finale was the Aialik glacier! The relic from ice-age, it stands strong and silent. It smolders with ice-cold breadth and brandishes blue halo around grooves. And it roars occasionally as ice blocks crash into blue waters. In its icy cold water, littered with floating ice, every now and then pop puffins and sea otters frolicking around. Standing in front of a glacier, your senses, your mind goes numb and all you feel is humble and awestruck.

And then of course came the end and the dreaded flight and all that's left of those beautiful days is a 500 picture deck. With 2 SLRs, 2 point and shoot and 6 iPones, our group was very well prepared. We were weather agnostic and never failed to grab a chance to eat well, hike when we found a trail and have fun. Though salmon runs hadn't started, we saw salmon creeks. Even in drizzles and cold conditions we went hiking. Even at mid-night, we ventured out to beach to look at perfectly carved mountains dusted with ice glowing under twilight.

Summer vacation well spent!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Cloud



the clouds in the sky today
reminded me of the drawings I made as a kid
the patches
the soapy-frothy, float like structures
marshmallow like texture
the slush and snow like color

hanging in the sky
as if someone suspended them in an art class
they moved silently across blue sky
across purple-pink-orange sunset

just like my painting
they were on top of everything
above the cars, roads, trees, freeways
way above the mountains....
on the edge of the page, the horizon
even higher than birds
with an ability or ego or both
to shielding the view of anything celestial beyond them

from a distance, they appear two dimensional
a base and a bubble
just like you'd draw them

from a distance
they appear like cotton candy
like you could stretch your hand and twirl a patch on a stick

cloud... a visible mass of water droplets or frozen ice crystals suspended in the Earth's atmosphere or the highest and farthest our eyes can see...a veil to what lies beyond

Friday, March 25, 2011

Can’t stop shooting angry birds...



I am not a gamer, not the types who’d sit on any device and play for hours. TV, movies - sure, games and scores - not so much. Also, I am not into violent entertainment of any sort. Movies, plays, books, TV...the less gory the better.

And in spite of this, all of this so called preferences, I can’t stop playing angry birds. Level by level I loose control and willpower as I hurl those birds into walls, glass, wood, pyramids, fruits. Imagine:

One you are throwing/hurling birds
Two they are cute small ones in there
You are destroying everything you see using birds
They are ‘angry’ for some reason and blow up
They explode all the time

Nothing in that list spells my normal liking and yet for some reason (unknown to me) I can’t stop. I have to play, pass levels and hurl birds. And it is nothing to be proud of that I even have a favorite type of bird for it's ability to blow things. At least there’s no blood-shed. That is my convincing inner voice.

Poof! Another one bites the dust.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Be present



When you think about something, after an event about what you thought before it happened, it never seems like a good idea to have waited.

I thought today of how many times I thought of taking out time to known someone better before the opportunity went past me.

Which led me to think of so many times I thought of sleeping early, helping somehow, spend time doing something I love, eating right, listening more and how I keep pushing it to another day...assuming the day will come for everything.

Today is the day for it all, now is time for everything to happen. There really is no time like now. When people leave, time passes, opportunity slides away...all you are left with is a bundle of ‘what if’ which is no good unless you had nothing to do.

Be present - I told myself today. If there’s a friendship waiting for your time to blossom, a book waiting for your time to be read, someone you love waiting for your time to be heard....give the time today. Don’t spend all of ‘now’ to plan for future. Spend some on ‘present’.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

In and out



Watching the new today. One news rolled out, another swept in. Japan out and Libya in.

A natural disaster we can’t do anything about...another self created mutual hatred that we can do without...both fodder for news. Both scary spectacle and the world a stunned audience.

The news played the horror of tsunami and earthquake in a loop like it was an never ending series...and ended it as abruptly to switch to man-made war and 24-7 reports on Libya.

It is mind boggling - the information, the velocity of information and just the non-stop need to show, explore, dissect and discuss. Photos, videos, experts, live coverage...it is a bit too much.

When the time came pause and mourn the cameras turn away to report the next “crisis” coz’ that’s new...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Mooning...



Perigee Full Moon rose on March 19th and the world went crazy. Cloudy skies doused my plans to gaze at the spectacle but internet came to rescue and I experienced the whole thing vicariously.

Pictures and videos looks spectacular albeit some suspicious photoshoping. As it turns out neither event, full moon or perigee, is rare but together they form a SUPERmoon and a rare sight.

The giant red-turning-to-white-by-the-minute ball does look like a giant rising over cities, jungles, houses and churches (for some reason that’s the motif for moon pictures). It appears to be melting in ocean, dwarfing trees, swallowing clouds...and yet it is a calm slow rise.

As it turned out, the only affect the whole thing had was it made for a beautiful view. no mishaps, no tides inundation, no werewolves.

My favorite part in all this - The perigee illusion is not explainable by science or psychology yet. So, it is fascinating to see a phenomenon with an awe and mystique. Humans have untangled so many mysteries....from orbit shapes to calculation of moon distance. So, to be able to see an event and see it with a wonder, without explanation of why....is a feeling we don’t experience often. And, as uneasy as it might make some people, it is such a vivid reminder of how much bigger, mysterious, beautiful and balanced nature is.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The perils of leaderless revolution




As much as we idealize mass revolution, the organic, raw power of people – it has pitfalls that could be a recipe for disaster.

I have a theory that it does start within one person. The seed germinates in one head and then gets re-planted and reproduced. And perhaps fertilized and nourished in another head.

But, the bigger problem is when none of those people are the leaders or at least it appears that way...like in Egypt.

The masses revolted and it seems they almost got use to doing nothing but taking to streets. In absence of clear and dominant leader, no one really knows when to and how to stop. No one knows why either and so there's no negotiation that can happen.

It is a fairly accurate assumption that people in Cairo and neighboring cities are not going to work, shops aren't open, children aren't attending schools amidst the chaos on streets. In absence of a leader for the revolution, there's no one to restore normalcy by calling it all off.

Who is in charge of listening to what is being offered, done and said? To think it over, negotiate and decide when can the city and the country can get over rioting and start healing.

When is it a sign of civility when fellow countrymen and neighbors fight each other in streets? Never.

But, if things are so bad and a change is needed, who is responsible for deciding the change is being offered and its time to go home.

It appears to be a tipping point ...and a tipping point without any plan to get things back up and running.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

The new day, the new dawn, the new world.



Where...

Every neighborhood has peace
and
Every home has fuel and fire to cook food

No child cries of hunger
and
Every man, woman and child sleeps content

There's no storm of hatred
and
The seasonal harvest is a crop of love

No killings and no blood-shed
and
No deafening noises of chaos or bombs

No one suffers in bitter cold and sweltering heat
and
No one is homeless

Warmth in homes and hearts
and
Serenity in minds and actions

Thursday, January 6, 2011

New year rings in...2011



A brand new, freshly scrubbed decade. A new slate. A blank sheet

How lovely if we could start afresh every 365 days

How wonderful if we carried away the learning and left the sorrow behind

How amazing if we evolved such that we leave the malignant prejudice, judgment and bias right at the doorstep of every new year

Won't that be a truly good start. An ideal place to start every time

So much to look forward to, so much potential

Like old snake skins, we slough our negativities and embrace a better tomorrow.